28th Jun 2008
A Proud Prudefemme on Pride
Whether you’re queen of the parade or too cynical for rainbows, chances are that if you’re queer, you have an opinion on Pride. For some it’s a day of celebration, others mourning and reflection, and still others, a great reason to get out of the city while the tourists invade. I feel all of those ways, and every year one or other of my opinions is center stage.
This year I’m celebrating. Celebrating nearly two years of marriage, recognized or not, to my wife, whom I love more very day. Celebrating my friends and community. Celebrating the fact that every year we gain legitimacy, get closer to being fully recognized citizens of our own country. This year California. Next year, perhaps my own state will wise up.
But why the word pride to indicate our holiday? Isn’t Pride a sin, and one of the worst, at that?
The Stonewall uprising that began June 28, 1969 didn’t begin as a celebration, but as a defense against a police raid. Gay men and trans women who frequented the Stonewall Inn didn’t react calmly to a routine raid; instead they fought back. For five days, groups of hundreds of queers fought off the police. It was a symbolic event, a catalyst for a civil rights movement already underway.
According to SFGate’s “Condensed History of Gay Pride,” it was the commercializing of the freedom celebration in ‘73 that led to the new name, Gay Pride. Where people gather, they buy things, especially alcohol. Apparently would-be sponsors of the event were frightened of the leather men and trans women, so they prettied it up with a new image: pride in one’s sexuality. Cheers.
The word pride, in its positive form, goes back much further than 1973. It was used as early as 1275 to mean honor or glory, and proud goes back before 1000 AD, finding its roots in Old French and ultimately in Latin. ”[L. prodesse 'be useful,' from pro- 'before' + esse 'to be.']” is the root, according to the Online Etymology Dictionary. The same source also reports that in most languages the negative use of the word, meaning haughty or arrogant, precedes the positive use, though that doesn’t appear to be true in English.
Considering its expression in the LGBT community, pride’s relationship to prude is amusing — the word prude goes back to the same origin, via prudefemme, a French word meaning a worthy or respectable woman.
While both the word pride and the holiday called Pride have a mixed history, I remain proud: I am proud of us for having endured these insults and injustices; I am proud of us for standing by our community through its worst crises; I am proud of us for coming out of our collective closet and facing our fears; I am proud of us for having the courage to love one another when it is usually unsupported and often forbidden.
Happy LGBT liberation day. Be proud, stay safe, and have fun.
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